Judy Bleil Saruhan

Nonviolent Communication

Judy’s work is focused on building and supporting environments where “words are windows” that support individuals’ capacity to engage in empathic connection and collaboration.

If you are interested in learning communication skills that improve wellbeing, bring awareness to core values and empower individuals to communicate in ways that strengthen relationships and enrich lives, let’s work together!

Learn more!

What is Nonviolent Communication?

NVC can dramatically improve our relationships by helping us focus our attention on:

Empathic understanding of others without compromising our own values, and
Expressing our real feelings and needs openly and honestly, yet without blame or criticism.

NVC delineates four components of communication:
1) Observations free of evaluations;
2) Feelings straight from the heart;
3) Needs, values and longings; and
4) Requests expressed clearly in positive action language.

Together these tools help create the kind of dialogue that can foster resolutions satisfying for everyone without painful sacrifice. Even in situations of longstanding conflict or hostility, the NVC process can open new doors to compassionate connection and action.

For more information, Center for Nonviolent Communication: An International Organization

Workshops & Sessions

Longing to contribute to more care, connection and understanding in the world, Judy offers workshops and sessions to help people identify needs and build communication skills so that they can start to bring down walls and open windows.

School Communities

Training programs are tailored to meet the needs of the community and can be planned to take place in a variety of times and settings such as in school, after school or part of a school trip. The Planting Peace Camp video on the main page can give you an idea of a program combined with a school trip.

NVC Topic ideas for schools

Introduction to Collaborative Communication
Foundations of Collaborative Communication
Collaboration in the classroom
Building and modeling (or strengthening) empathy
Collaboration at home (with parents)
Scary honesty
Making Difficult Requests
Interruption for Connection
Shifting from reaction to interaction
Giving and Receiving Meaningful Feedback
Difficult Conversations
Finding Compassion in Intense Moments
Transforming Enemy Images
Transforming “have to” and “should”
Group Decision Making
Shifting from conflict to connection
Reconciliation

Parents

TO HAVE HEARTFELT, EMPATHIC, CONNECTION WITH OUR CHILDREN AND OURSELVES

When our relationship with our children gets tense or when we don’t know what to do to communicate “correctly” with them, what resources will help?

In relationship to our children, Nonviolent Communication makes it possible for us to shift our attention from judgmental thinking like right-wrong, good-bad, to the underlying universal human need that the behavior is trying to meet. NVC opens a path for us to be empathic with our children and ourselves and our internal resources empower us to find doable solutions to our communication dilemmas.

SUPPORT FOR CHILD-ADULT RELATIONSHIPS NO MATTER THE AGE

The “heart full parenting” program is designed for parents who have children of any age and for teachers working with children who want to get to know NVC. Participants who complete this program will have the “introduction to nvc” requirement met should they want to attend NVC deepening programs.

TOPICS:

Expressing myself compassionately and effectively
Setting boundaries, saying no
Transforming resistance into cooperation
Peaceful conflict resolution
Beyond reward & punishment
Coping with guilt and regret
Self compassionate parenting
Handling difficult feelings

Online Series: 8 sessions / 1.5 hours each

Organizations

I offer tailored programs that are co-created based on the organization’s goals, interests and time preferences.

Public Groups

What I offer to the general public:

“WINDOWS OR WALLS” 8 hours (4 sessions x 2 hours)

Are your words windows or are they walls? In this 4 part series we explore:

how we can be more compassionate with ourselves and others
moving from emotional manipulation towards freedom, trust and understanding
four ways to hear a message
making life more enjoyable through observations and requests

“LET’S TALK” 12 hours (4 sessions x 3 hours)

In this 4 part series we explore:

Choose to serve life: Shift from reaction to interaction
Listen: Empathize to improve respect and understanding
Be heard: Expression that increases harmony and collaboration
Manage conflict: Move from conflict to dialogue

BEYOND RIGHT AND WRONG 14 hours (4 sessions x 3.5 hours)

In this series we use the “The No-Fault-Zone®” visual material created by CNVC Certified Trainers, Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson to explore:

Gaining freedom from my inner critic, connecting to myself with compassion
Connecting empathically with another, increasing understanding and moving towards meaningful solutions
Shifting from conflict to stronger relationships and collaborative problem solving
Peer mediation, moving from the role of judge to a presence supporting dialogue and understanding

FROM CONFLICT TO AGREEMENT 4 hours (1 session)

In this workshop we use the “The No-Fault-Zone®” visual material created by CNVC Certified Trainers, Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson, to move from conflict to mutual understanding and collaboration towards solutions that work for everyone.

DEEPENING PROGRAM 6 FULL DAYS

*This program is for participants who have completed at least 15 full days of Nonviolent Communication Training with CNVC Certified Trainers.

In this series we will explore:

Empathy skills: Empathy for who, why and when? / Interruption for connection
Expanding the range of Requests: Determining thresholds
Giving and Receiving Meaningful Feedback
Power: what does it mean and how do I choose to use it?
Group process: Where am I in terms of facilitator or participant?
Principles of Nonviolent Communication as a bridge to a wider community

LEADERSHIP PROGRAM (LIPRO) 15 FULL DAYS (4 modules x 3 days PLUS 6 meetings x 3 hours)

*This program is for participants who have completed at least 20 full days of Nonviolent Communication Training with CNVC Certified Trainers.

In this series we will explore:

Leadership: Self Connection, Position, and Vision
Connecting with Others: Facilitation, Participation, Agreements and Feedback
The Power to Contribute: Social Change, Mediation, and Convergent Facilitation
Spirituality and Social Change Projects: Cultural Coding, Enemy Images and Creating a Culture of Nonviolence

Private Sessions

Private one-on-one, couples or semi-private sessions range from 60 minutes, 90 minutes to 120 minutes depending on the needs and topics.

Contact me!

About Judy

Judy is passionate about learning and sharing communication skills that improve wellbeing, bring awareness to core values and empower individuals to communicate in ways that strengthen relationships and enrich lives, especially in education and parenting. She is a Certified Trainer for the International Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) based in the USA. She is a supporter of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) globally and offers Introduction Sessions and Communication Workshops to individual groups, organizations and school communities. She also offers private one-on-one Empathy Sessions or Empathic Coaching to individuals who are looking for support, clarity, self-connection and concrete ways to make progress towards what matters to them most.

Judy has had the opportunity to experience the universality of NVC by working with and learning from trainers and participants from approximately 45 countries. She is 1 of 11 CNVC Certified Trainers in Turkey. She is a founding Board Member of the Nonviolent Communication Association (Şiddetsiz Iletişim Derneği) in Turkey and currently holds the position of Board Secretary and is focused on bringing NVC to the field of Education.

She has worked in schools in the USA and in Turkey and has held official positions on the Parent Teacher Association and Board of Directors at Istanbul International Community School.

Testimonials

Schools

The facilitators did an excellent job crafting this program to the individual and personal needs of the participants. There was a nice balance of theoretical and practical conversations. I believe everyone benefited from the practice sessions.

John D’Arcy
Istanbul International Community School

I definitely feel like I have more tools/ways to communicate with myself and others in a more efficient way. From this training I want to remember that I need to understand and express my own needs and understand and have empathy for the needs of others. Both Gizem and Judy were warm and empathetic and explained things very clearly. I think the program was facilitated well and it was great to work with colleagues who I didn’t know very well.

Kathryn Bourgeois
Robert College

Through this workshop I think I have refreshed and improved my communication knowledge. It was a great experience especially in terms of understanding another person’s feelings and needs, being empathic and deciding how to communicate based on this. I believe this training is going to improve both my professional and my private life. In particular, as I separate feelings and thoughts and be empathic, my ability to make requests and my communication with others will continue to develop.

Kudret Ates
Robert College

At the beginning of the training I was nervous, however within a few hours my nervousness turned into curiosity. I began wondering, what more can I learn. At this point it is hard to say what the effect of this training is but you can be sure that I am going to work on developing these ‘muscles.’ 🙂 Somehow I have the feeling that I’ve known Judy and Gizem for a long time and I’m really thankful for their warmth. There was no place of violence in my life but I thank you for helping me to remove it from my communication.

Kenan Kara
Robert College

I enjoyed spending time considering communicating in an alternative way. From the workshop, I want to remember to reflect before communicating; to consider what others’ needs may be. I feel positively about these things but I am still unsure what my needs are in relation to Nonviolent Communication. I enjoyed the workshop and thought Judy was great.

Anonymous
Koç Schools

In this program, considering mutual relationships, stopping to think and express my own needs has added comfort to my life.
With the possibility of using this beautiful language of communication, I feel more powerful.
With understanding, I believe I will be able to find a way out of even the most stuck places.

Anonymous
Momo Preschool

I think this was a beneficial workshop. It provided a way for me to get to know the people that I work with better. The effectiveness of this workshop will be greater if we are able to continue learning. I found Judy and Hulya to be warm and empathic.

Olgun Hayat
Final Schools (Gebze)

This was a productive session. From now on I am going to try to use “me” and “I” language when communicating so that others can put themselves in my position. I want to remember to use the empathy concept in every area of my life. Thank you for sharing openly and for your warm energy.

Handan
Final Schools (Gebze)

Parents

This program helped me so much with transforming conflict with my child into cooperation, with finding my own needs and with creating balance in my family.

Özgül Dere Özdemir

I have a new perspective and path not only in my relationship with my child, but also in relation to myself.

Aybike Savaşır Serdar

This program helped me communicate with my child in difficult situations. It also helped me provide feedback and appreciation, as well as, be empathic.

Hakan Gökbayrak

This program increased my flexibility, it’s as if I’m in a sea of awareness. By quickly going underneath the surface of my anger to see what is so precious to me, I can now transform my anger and it’s reasons for being.

Işıl Çağlar Narler

NVC has transformed my life and by looking at it specifically from the perspective of family relationships, it has enriched my life again. The authentic connection I was longing for with my adult son is now closer to me than the hope of having it.

Şükrü Bozkurt

The trainers’ openness, acceptance, and styles of contributing, helped us connect with ourselves to reach our internal resources rather than drowning in our strategy driven lives.

Gökçe Nalcı

The training gave me the keys to connecting with my son, my husband and myself. I met with my strength while on the road to finding my own solutions. Now I know, another way of communication is possible…

Elvan Yenihayat Kurşun

Organizations

During the training I realized that while an incident is happening, most of the time, I’m looking at things from my perspective. Now I can change this and by seeing through different perspectives I realized I’ll be able to come up with more healthy solutions. As a result of this program, I feel like I’ll be a more sound, patient and prudent teacher and mother. From now on, my priority is us, not me. I was moved by the facilitators’ sincerity and warmth. I felt their positive energy. Thank you very much, I admire everyone who does their work with love.

Gulsah Cakar
Aydin Dogan Vakfi “Gonulden Ogretmen”
(“Teaching from the Heart” training)

”Participation and Peace in the Classroom” was a joint project between BBOM, Si-Der and Sabancı Foundation Grant Program that was created

out of a desire to continue to support teachers who had already completed an Introduction to Nonviolent Communication. Therefore, a 6 day “Life Enriching Education Program” was tailored to further develop awareness and improve skills to support participation and peace in schools. Through this training, the teachers gained the insight and the courage to create, foster and practice it in their classrooms. Judy’s contributions to the integrity of the program and to the empathic space had a powerful affect and served all of the participants.

Ogretmen Koyu
BBOM, Si-Der and Sabancı Foundation Grant Program

https://youtu.be/HXcwIwg8dR0

1 - 1 Sessions

Judy’s support has been insightful and draws from her years as an NVC trainer and practitioner. I experience such wisdom and integrated understanding in her measured and thoughtful empathic support. She has brought clarity and accompaniment to my complicated emotions and situations, and care and presence to my celebrations and mournings. The compassionate lens with which she sees the world inspires me. I am filled with gratitude for every session I have experienced with her over many years.

Ann Malabre

I coordinate community workshops and adult education for an NGO. While working on the vision for the Participation and Peace Learning Community my habits kicked in, I had a difficult time managing things in a peaceful way, so when my internal resources are not enough, and I want support, I call on Judy for mentoring.

In our one on one sessions, Judy guides me in reflecting on the experiences and facilitates my learning from them. While she supports me in such a way that I am able to go at my own pace, moving forward according to my needs, she also asks focused, right on target questions, that I experience foundational shifts in my perspective on the situations. Inspired by Maria Montessori’s words, I can say that Judy truly “helps me do it myself.”

Feyza Eyikul

Judy’s steadfast compassion, loving presence and support have helped me heal old wounds while also expanding my capacity to be present with and listen to the people in my life. Her gentle inquiries as to what’s happening in my body bring me home to myself, strengthening self-awareness and self- connection. As a result, it’s become easier for me to recognize what I’m feeling and what my needs are in the moment, when to say yes and when to say no. As someone who experienced a lot of childhood trauma, it is difficult for me to trust people. Judy has my full trust, my love and my gratitude. I cannot recommend her highly enough.

Leslie Wallace